Our Creator, who loves us and who wants what is best for us, has provided marriage as the institution that best fulfills our deepest human needs. He intends marriage to be the commitment of one man and one woman to each other for a lifetime (Rom 7:1-3; Matt 19:6). Further, Malachi 2:16 says, "For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (divorce). Anything that God hates is not to be taken lightly.

However, current studies show that the divorce rate is at an all-time high and that the United States has the highest divorce rate in the world. One out of every two marriages now ends in divorce. Social changes in our country have altered many traditional values, and have been responsible for propagating many myths about marriage and divorce that have contributed to our current condition. The traditional belief that "marriage is for keeps," has been replaced by "marriage until passion fades." The traditional feeling that "divorce is a shameful failure," has been replaced by "divorce is no big deal."

Many feel that divorce is the panacea to all marital ills. We have been subtly told that a single life is good and that finding a better spouse is likely; that "the grass is greener on the other side," and that it is there that we can find freedom, excitement, romance, and fulfillment.

The fact is though, that divorce is catastrophic. Dr. Diane Medved, in her book, The Case Against Divorce, reported of extensive interviews with now-single individuals who had already been divorced. Her findings were compelling.

Often in a rush of tears, they described the suffering and anguish they had endured - nights of fantasies about the husband or wife who left them; days of guilt after abandoning a once-devoted mate. They talked about the nuts-and-bolts of daily life, of uprooting, of shifting to an apartment and splitting possessions, of balancing parental duties with now-pressing work demands. They spoke of changing relationships with their children, who moved from innocent babes to confidants to arbitrators and sometimes to scapegoats. And they mourned a part of themselves never to be recaptured. The part they had once invested in a marital or family unit was now destroyed. Wearily, they told of the transformation of the optimism and enthusiasm they had devoted to the now-crushed marriage to bitterness, skepticism, and self-preservation (2,3).

In my experience as a preacher, I have been called upon to offer help, counsel, and therapy, to couples who are having marital problems, and I have witnessed that the stress caused by the pain of divorce is so intense that it can be compared only to the grief suffered at the death of a loved one. Divorce leaves emotional scars from which the couple will never be completely free. Statistically, divorce has proved to be the worst status for your health.

Divorce exacts a tremendous financial cost as well. Experts reveal that both the husband and the wife will take a financial nosedive. If alimony payments are part of the settlement, the pain of the divorce is recalled with the mailing and receiving of every payment.

If the couple has children, the divorce is especially painful for them. One-third of all children never see one of their parents after the divorce. Gordon Livingston of the Columbia, Maryland, Medical Plan said, "The disillusionment that comes with the knowledge that your parents do not love each other anymore and are not going to stay together.. is not only a tremendous blow to a child's conception of the world as an orderly place, but it shakes his fundamental faith in everything."

The divorce is painful for your parents and friends. They now have to "choose sides," and the relationships will never be quite the same.

These are just a few of the devastating consequences of divorce. But, they make it easy to see why God said, "I hate divorce." Dr. Medved reveals that in an overwhelming number of them, the "cure" that divorce is supposed to bring is surely worse than the marriage's "disease." lam convinced that if people who are contemplating divorce could clearly see the devastating consequences that divorce can bring, spiritually, emotionally, and financially, that they would be more likely to put their energy into working to heal their marriage.-1400 Northcrest Drive, Ada, Ok 74820.