The prophet Malachi closed the Old Testament with the promise that God would send Elijah to ".. turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers," lest the earth be smitten with a curse. Human societies are cursed indeed when parents are not attuned to the needs of their children and children are not obedient to parents. We live in such a society. The family disruption, misery, crime and so forth that attend these conditions have truly cursed this nation. We need a prophet like Elijah. (Jesus said that John the Baptist fulfilled this prophecy. See Matt 17:1O-13.)

The cause of much child abuse is the turning of parents "hearts" to other things such as money and career-advancement. Then children become a burden, rather than the "heritage of the Lord" (Ps 127:3) that God intended them to be. Busy and frustrated parents are prone to neglect or strike out at their children in harmful ways. A few years ago Urie Bronfrenbrenner, a Michigan social scientist, wired toddlers with microphones that broadcast to recorders everything said to them. When the tapes were analyzed, he found that career-minded fathers interacted an average of 17 seconds a day with their little children-graphic proof that these fathers' hearts had turned to other things.

This article will describe types of child abuse as defined in state laws and Scripture and make suggestions about how adults can avoid abuse and interact productively with children.

Child abuse is generally categorized into four types:

1) Neglect, 2) psychological abuse, 3) physical abuse, and 4) sexual abuse. Many children are subjected to more than one type. A child may, for example, be neglected much of the time and abused when his parents are around. Or she may be physically and sexually abused simultaneously. We will define these terms later, but for now, let us turn to the question of how widespread is the problem?

Because child abuse usually takes place behind closed doors, no one knows for certain how much there is. What is certain is that there is a great deal of it. Each year 600 children are murdered by parents and caretakers. Approximately 300,000 cases of abuse annually are reported to police, which is a fraction of the actual incidence. Researchers estimate that one in three children will be abused in some way. One in five will be sexually abused. This means that a significant proportion of the world's most valuable resource-its people-are entering adulthood with handicaps to being good citizens, Christians, and especially good parents. Recently in a personal conversation, a world authority on child mal-treatment concluded, "abuse is now a normal hazard of childhood." It is; but it ought not to be.

I am often asked if there is more child abuse today, or are we just hearing more about it? My answer is "1,oth". We are certainly finding cases better. There are laws in all states, aimed especially at professionals (doctors, teachers, ministers, etc.), that require reporting of suspected cases. When people are required to report it, they generally do. And it is also certain that child abuse has always been around. There are several condemnations in the Old Testament (Lev 18:21, Jer 32:35,11 Kings 23:10) of the Israelites making their children "pass through the fire". These are references to sacrifices to the god Molech. But just because we are finding it better does not mean there is not also more of it. General surveys of women in the San Francisco area regarding sexual abuse as children showed this to be the case. All age groups reported it, but younger women reported it more frequently than older women.

A question that probably troubles readers of this journal more than the preceding one is do we have it in the church? Regrettably the answer is "Yes, in all its forms." A few years ago Allen Bailey spoke out on child sexual abuse at a year-end meeting and in the process invited children to talk with a trusted adult if they were being molested. He was criticized by persons who apparently could not or did not want to accept the possibility of that type of sin in the Body of Christ. I sat in my chair silently applauding his courage and recalling cases on which I had given consultation. These cases ran the gamut from respected preachers and leaders to peripheral members. Child sexual abuse, and child abuse in general, cuts across all socioeconomic and educational levels, all religious groups, and all geographical areas. I believe sincerely that we do not have as high an incidence in the church as there is in the world. But we probably have more than we think, and any amount is too much.

Although laws on child abuse differ somewhat from state to state, neglect is generally defined as failure to provide the things necessary for a child's wholesome physical and mental development. This includes, of course, food, clothing, and shelter. But it also includes medical care, formal education, and supervision to protect from harm. The laws of all states require this type of care by parents and so does the law of God. Solomon said (Prov 20:7) that a just man's children are blessed. This implies that he will provide well for them and teach them spiritual truths. The same writer said (Prov 29:15) "...a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame," a clear reference to lack of supervision.

Some well-meaning Christian parents have been legally charged with neglect for refusing to send their children to public schools. Most states allow home schooling but it usually must be approved officially before it is legal. Perhaps the type of neglect to which conscientious parents are most vulnerable is lack of supervision. Two-career families and one-parent homes tempt parents to leave children alone before they should be. A few years ago I called a woman patient and her seven-year-old daughter answered the phone. She told me that she was home alone; her mother was work and would not be in for a couple of hours. That mother was a good woman and I am sure she felt she was doing the best she could for her child, but no seven-year-old should be left alone like that.

Some parents believe that harsh punishment, or the threat of it, will cause young children to behave maturely in the absence of supervision. That is a poor assumption. To practice it adds abuse to neglect for to try to force a child to do what he is not developmentally capable of doing is abuse. Just because children can hear and repeat the words of instructions, does not mean they are able to follow them. Grownups often look at children as just little adults but they are not. For one thing, they do not process information as adults do. Paul acknowledged this (I Cor 13:11) when he said "When I was a child... I understood as a child."

As an example of the preceding idea, studies show that children who are told "don't open the door to strangers" will obey that to the best of their ability. However, the postman, who comes to the house often is not a stranger and neither is anyone else who wears a uniform similar to his. Even so the cunning person who says "your mother told me to tell you to let me in" can likely overwhelm a trusting child's ability to reason. There is no substitute for parents' loving and watchful eyes to protect children from outside evil or their own impulses.

Psychological abuse refers to tearing down the as a person rather than attempting to change his behavior. A common example is calling names, such as stupid. This practice is harmful for two good reasons. One is that a child can not change who he is. Behavior can be altered, but if a child is convinced he is stupid, he will surely behave stupidly. You do not cause children to behave like angels by convincing them they are devils. Another reason is that it is wrong. David said the proper attitude of a father toward his children is compassion, like that which God has toward us (Ps 103:13).

There are jokes about the father who is hassled by his boss, whom he is afraid to rejoin, and then comes home and kicks the dog. It is my belief that wives and children get "kicks" from frustrated fathers more often than family pets. And because both parents' nerves are often frayed, children sometimes get a double dose.

I have known parents who carped continually at their children, never seeming to suspect what anger and resentment they were building in their offspring. And apparently not knowing either that the more they reduced their children's belief in themselves, the easier preys they made them to evil influences outside the home. When children misbehave, their behavior should be corrected simply, straightforwardly, firmly, and with a few words. But it should be the wrong behavior that is undermined, not the child as a person.

Physical abuse refers to doing "tissue damage" to a child. Extreme forms are familiar to all hospital emergency room personnel. Children are regularly brought in with broken bones, cigarette burns, concussions and having been beaten unconscious. Such brutality is sinful; it does physical and mental damage to the child. At the other end of the spectrum, some parents may find it difficult to tell where appropriate punishment ends and abuse begins. In most states, the laws define as abuse any corporal punishment that leaves clear marks on a child's body.

Here are suggestions that will help parents insure that discipline of children does not get abusive.

1) Never use corporal punishment while still angry over the child's misbehavior It is also a good idea to say little to a child while emotion is high. Keep in mind that words can be abusive too. Solomon said (Eccl 12:11) that they are like cattle prods. From the mouth of the wise, they can spur people on to good behavior, but those words seldom fall from the lips of angry persons.

2) Allow the less frustrated parent to handle the situation. The judgment of the more objective person is almost always better.

3) Read and talk with other parents. This improves one's judgment and increases options for handling difficult situations. Child abuse feeds on secrecy. Amidst he trash, there are some excellent, balanced books on this subject. Hiam Ginot's BETWEEN PARENT AND CHILD and James Dobson's DARE TO DISCIPLINE are good examples.

4) If the preceding measures are insufficient, join Parents Anonymous. Fashioned along the lines of Alcoholics Anonymous, this organization was set up to help parents who are prone to child abuse. This suggestion is especially beneficial for the obsessed parent described earlier.

Because some parents believe that the Bible requires physical discipline, they rely on it exclusively. And because it gets less effective with over use, they tend to apply it more and more harshly. But the Bible requires appropriate discipline, not a specific type. That oft-quoted proverb, "Spare the rod and spoil the child", actually comes from Samuel Butler, an early American pamphleteer, not the Bible, although there is a statement somewhat like this in Prov 13:24. "Rod" is usually a figure of speech that refers to any form of discipline. Proverbs 22:15 speaks of the "rod of correction" and Prov 29:15 discusses the "rod of reproof." Note that these were rods of "correction" and of "reproof," not rods of wood. In rebuking the false teachers at Corinth (I Cor 4:21), Paul threatened to come to them "with a rod." The threat was real, but I am certain that what Paul meant was appropriate church discipline, not a caning.

Ephesians 6:4 lays down a principle that Christian parents must follow in training children. "And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." MacKnight gives the meaning of this verse accurately and beautifully: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath by cruel usage; but bring them up in the wholesome discipline and instruction which the Lord hath prescribed; consisting in moderate correction and affectionate persuasion." Colossians 3:21 suggests that immoderate discipline will discourage children in their moral and spiritual growth. Christian parents must be concerned about discipline that is too harsh as well as that which is not strong enough.

The laws in most states define sexual abuse as any physical contact between an adult and a child that sexually arouses the adult or is intended to do so. The extreme is rape (a child legally can not give consent for sexual activity with an adult) but all types of erotic touching and fondling are included. Many states include exhibitionism and voyeurism in the definition. The first term refers to deliberate exposure of the adult's body to a child and the second means intentionally arranging to see a child's body. Examples here are deliberately walking in on a child when she is dressing or bathing. In psychiatric language, adults who engage in these activities have a problem with "deviant arousal." Normal adults are not aroused by the sight of a child's body.

Most sexual abusers are men. A few women cooperate with men in perpetrating it; and a very small percentage of women initiate it on their own.

The first point to be made regarding sexual abuse is that the perpetrator sins. It is an especially reprehensible form of lasciviousness and/or fornication. In addition, it is extremely and enduringly damaging to children. On this point, the research evidence is crystal clear. Several factors determine the severity of dam age, such as the intrusiveness of the molestation, the frequency and duration of it, how much force was used, how harsh the threats against telling, and the quality of support the child received when it became known. But no amount of sexual molestation is benign!

Sexual abuse is a potent form of the offense against children that caused Jesus to issue one of the sternest warnings of his ministry. "Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matt 18:6). How much stronger could it be said! "Offend" means to make one's way more difficult. The betrayal, the knowing that one was exploited for the lust of a trusted adult makes it difficult for sexual abuse victims ever again to trust man or God. Overly harsh discipline is damaging but it is more easily forgiven because the parent is trying to do something he thinks is beneficial. There is no excuse for sexual exploitation of a child.

There is only one piece of advice that is appropriate for sexual abuse perpetrators: Stop it! If you can not control yourself, you have the responsibility of getting the help of others until you can do it.

In conclusion, here are suggestions for preachers and church leaders to help stop sexual abuse and other forms of child maltreatment. First, we should stop coperating unwittingly with the secrecy that supports it. Studies show that victims do not go often for help to V preachers and church leaders because they believe these leaders do not want to hear about it. They are right. It is an ugly problem that all of us would prefer to ignore. When we make ourselves aware of the problem, speak out about it, and show ourselves willing to protect victims and help perpetrators, then many victims and some perpetrators will ask for help.

Second, we should accept our brotherly responsibility to act appropriately when we know about it. I know of cases of physical and sexual abuse in which responsible action by church leaders helped both victims and perpetrators. Moses ordered the Israelites not to "hide their eyes" from the man who sacrificed his children to idol gods (Lev 20:4). I doubt that God would be any more pleased if we turn our eyes away from men who sacrifice children upon the idol of their lusts.