"STUDIES IN THE PROVERBS"
Wisdom In Matters Of Friendship
INTRODUCTION
1. As social creatures living on an inhabited planet, it is impossible
to avoid associations with fellow human beings
2. As Christians, it is important that our dealings with other people be
conducted in wisdom
3. As Paul wrote to the Colossians (though speaking specifically of our
conduct with those not Christians, it would apply to Christian
friends as well):
"Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time."
"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you
may know how you ought to answer each one."
- Co 4:5-6
4. In His all-sufficient Word, God has provided the wisdom necessary
whereby we can develop good relations with those around us, and avoid
the pitfalls that too often destroy good friendships
5. Again, a good portion of this "wisdom" is found in "The Book Of
Proverbs"
[Turning to this book of the Bible, let's note first what it says
about...]
I. THE VALUE OF A GOOD FRIEND
A. A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO CAN BE A SOURCE OF COMFORT...
1. In good times and in bad times - Pr 17:17
2. In some cases, even better than that provided by a brother
- Pr 18:24 b
B. A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO CAN BE A SOURCE OF GOOD COUNSEL...
1. Counsel can that "delight the heart" - Pr 27:9
2. The value of counsel in general is seen in Pr 11:14
[A friend who can be trusted to be a source of good counsel is certainly
a blessing. But having friends who are dependable is not always easy.
Consider, then some...]
II. ADVICE ON THE SELECTION OF FRIENDS
A. PEOPLE YOU DO NOT WANT AS FRIENDS...
1. Gossips - Pr 20:19
2. Short-tempered - Pr 22:24-25
3. Those given to drinking and gluttony - Pr 23:20-21
4. Those given to change - Pr 24:21-22
5. Liars, those untrustworthy, and those inconsiderate - Pr 25:
18-20
6. Those given to violence - Pr 1:10-19
B. THE SORT OF FRIENDS YOU WANT...
1. Those who display wisdom themselves - Pr 13:20
2. For their teaching (counsel) will help lead you in the right
way - cf. Pr 13:14
[As Paul said, the wrong kind of friends can be a corrupting influence
(cf. 1 Co 15:33 ); but a friend who is good and wise is one you want to
hold on to! To avoid losing good friends, here is some...]
III. ADVICE ON MAINTAINING GOOD FRIENDSHIPS
A. THINGS TO AVOID, WHICH CAN DISRUPT A GOOD FRIENDSHIP...
1. Don't repeat everything you hear - Pr 17:9
2. Avoid senseless arguments - Pr 17:14
3. Don't overstay your welcome - Pr 25:17
4. Don't meddle in affairs not your own - Pr 26:17
5. Don't play bad jokes - Pr 26:18-19
6. Don't be a "talebearer" - Pr 26:20
7. Don't be contentious - Pr 26:21
8. Don't engage in insincere flattery - Pr 27:14
[Following such advice, one is less likely to offend his or her
friends. But sometimes we do, and re-gaining their confidence is not
easy (cf. Pr 18:19 ). What can be done? Consider...]
B. SOLVING PROBLEMS WITH OUR FRIENDS...
1. Make sure that you are at peace with the Lord - cf. Pr 16:7
2. Be slow to anger - Pr 15:18 ; cf. Ja 1:19-20
3. Be slow to respond - Pr 18:13
4. Avoid quarreling - Pr 20:3
5. Speak gently - Pr 15:1
6. Speak briefly - Pr 10:19
7. Be quick to show love - Pr 10:12
8. But if necessary, rebuke rather than flatter - Pr 28:23
CONCLUSION
1. Properly applying the wisdom of God found in His Word can assure that
we enjoy the blessings of good friends in this life, and can look
forward to enjoying these dear friends in life eternal!
2. Rather than depend upon "trial and error" to learn "how to win
friends and influence people", let God's Word be your guide!
But of all the friendships we could possible develop, none can excel the
one we can have with HIM who truly "sticks closer than a brother" - our
Lord Jesus Christ!
Have you become His friend? Consider what He has done for us...
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for
his friends." (Jn 15:13 )
Consider what He asks of us...
"You are My friends if you do whatever I command you." (Jn 15:14 )
Have you done what He commands? - cf. Mt 28:18-20 ; Mk 16:15-16